It's been 19 years. Why this one affected me the way it did, I have no idea. Maybe because it's almost a big year-20. I guess I'm anticipating. So, instead of mourning and being sad, I thought about the things I'd want you to know. The things that I've learned since you went Home. Here we go--
1. I've learned how to be a mom. You are still the small voice in my ear reminding me of how you did it with us girls and how to parent with grace. The girls are beautiful and wonderful, and you would be proud of them. Your influence is apparent.
2. How to be a teacher. I've come a long way from where I started. I've gained loads of experience and many lives that I've helped grow, while learning myself every single day.
3. How to stand up under pressure-sometimes I'm not so hot at this, but most of the time, especially during really hard situations, I can keep a calm head and have an idea or two to work with.
4. I've become comfortable in my own skin. That includes learning that if you spend all of your time worrying about what people will think about you, you'll miss the really good bits. Sometimes you don't get a second chance, especially to make a memory.
5. Lastly, I've learned how to be a helpmate and live Lutheran. This is still something I work on daily, but it's something I strive for. To work as a team but follow my husband in his decisions, and to incorporate the gifts God gives us through his Mercy and Grace. It is such a gift, and you showed me every day by living it in your vocation.
Mom, I miss you terribly and I am truly grateful that I had you and Daddy in my life. You were amazing role models and I love you both. Always.
--Michelle
(written 11/6/15 & 1/17/16)
